


Much to come

by bugjax



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Frontotemporal Dementia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Post-Game(s), Slow Burn, Terminal Illnesses, Trans Hinata Hajime, Trans Male Character, kinnie moment lol, lots of angst bro, mostly his dementia, much to come trust me, there'll be a lot of stuff about his illnesses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27589828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bugjax/pseuds/bugjax
Summary: -THIS FIC HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED.-as much as I loved working on this fic, I've hyper fixated on something else and can't find the motivation to continue it. I still had plans for it, so I'm actually kinda sad about ending it like this. If someone wants to like, continue this or something, that'd be cool lol.anyways, sorry to the people who enjoyed this, I really did have a lot of fun writing it when I did. maybe ill write some new stuff on the thing I'm interested in atm (which is the dream smp lmao), but for now it is farewell lads. thanks to everyone who supported this fic and enjoyed it, it was super fun to write and I got so happy when people interacted with it :)Everyone is working on healing from the events of the game and their despair, and attempting to regain a sense of normalcy in their lives. For some, it's proving harder than others.or, komaeda is sick as fuck and wont admit it and hinata and him are in love that's it that's the fic
Relationships: Hinata Hajime & Everyone, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Koizumi Mahiru/Saionji Hiyoko, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko/Soda Kazuichi, Sonia Nevermind/Tanaka Gundham, there'll be more as it goes on lol
Comments: 26
Kudos: 141





	1. The beach

The light beamed through the curtains slightly as Komaeda awoke, straining his eyes at the sudden brightness. He rubbed them softly, reminded that he’d been brought into a new day. His hair stuck up in every direction and bounced slightly as he sat up, dizzy.

He felt ill and tired.

These were normal for his mornings. Tired.

He stood up and placed his hand against the wall as he attempted to steady himself. The cool wood of his cabin grounding him as he rubbed his eyes, looking around at his small home.

He stumbled to the bathroom and took a deep breath as he readied himself for the day ahead of him. The warm water rolling down his back, and his shaky hands slipping his jacket over his shoulders. 

He closed his eyes as he quickly combed his hands through his hair, preparing himself for the day ahead. As he opened the door of his cottage, he took a deep breath of the cool air that brushed over him. 

Walking to the restaurant, hands in his pockets. The smell of Hanamura’s cooking filled the air as he headed to the hotel.

He gathered himself at the table along with the other remnants. 

“Komaedaaa!! We thought you died or something, welcome to breakfast!” Mioda shouted from across the table.

“W-we didn’t really think that.. We’re glad you're here though, you didn’t show up to breakfast yesterday”. Koizumi replied.

“Ah, no need to worry about me. I just slept in quite a bit yesterday! Just usual me, causing trouble for everyone it seems.” Komaeda chuckled as he took a seat at the table, a plate being placed before him by Hanamura.

“Here’s your dish this morning Komaeda! I do hope you find it in good taste... I worked extra hard on it today, hehe.” Hanamura gave him a wink as he walked off to go make some more food, as Owari had already scarfed down half the entire dish.

Komaeda gave a wave as he thanked him, and stared down blankly at his meal. It looked amazing! As expected from the Ultimate Chef, such happiness it seemed to bring all of them.

He found it quite troubling to eat nowadays, however. It wasn't that he didn’t enjoy the wonderful food that Hanamura cooked for them every day, but he found it quite tiresome. 

He looked around at his classmates as they chatted amongst each other, happily enjoying their food together, bickering to one another. This sight always brought joy to Komaeda.

It had been such an ordeal once they’d all woken up from the program. It was difficult for all of them to begin to adjust after such an experience, having so many years ripped away from them and suddenly having to take in this new life that had been brought upon them.

But Komaeda knew that they would all eventually overcome these troubles, and bit by bit they began to do so. 

After some heavy monitoring from the Future Foundation and many months of healing together, they began to grow back the hope that Komaeda was sure they all thought they would never have again. 

It had been about a year since the program.

They had all started working at the Future Foundation about a month ago, their talents being put to as much use as they could be.

They mostly, however, worked in a small secluded office, doing paperwork and working at computers at small desks together. The small sense of normalcy in their life that they all needed.

As Komaeda continued to pick quietly at his dish, lost in thought, a hand tapped his shoulder.

“Hey, did you hear me? Ugh, you’re never fucking listening, are you? Ya there?” Kuzuryu yelled as he attempted to get Komaedas attention.

“Huh? Ah, Kuzuryu! I’m sorry, I must have zoned out for a minute there. I was just thinking of how beautiful this hopeful day with all of you shall be! I am so happy to accompany you all on another- Ah, my apologies. What was it you were saying?” Komaeda said as he tilted his head in anticipation. 

“Jesus, you never stop talking about that shit, do you? Tch. Anyways, yeah, I was wondering if you’ve seen Hinata anywhere, he isn't here. If he doesn’t get here soon we’re leaving without him, we’re working at the future foundation today, remember?” 

“Ah, I see.”

Komaeda put his finger to his chin as he tried to recall where he might have seen Hinata that morning.

It was difficult sometimes to remember small bits of information like this, it was fuzzy and frankly quite irritating at times. 

“Hmm... I think I may recall seeing him somewhere at the beach as I was on my way here.” That would make sense since Hinata had been sitting there on his own quite frequently. 

“I can go look for him myself if it would be of any help!” He announced as he sat up gently from his seat. 

“Yeah, that’d be great, and tell him to be here earlier next time! That Kirigiri chick at the foundation is kinda scary, and she always seems super irritated whenever we’re late..” Souda shouted from across the table.

“I think she’s kinda always like that. I mean, she seems nice enough, she just looks like one of those people with a kinda pissed off resting face”. Koizumi reassured Souda.

“Yeah, but she’s still kinda scary, y’know?”. Souda placed his elbow on the table as he continued to eat, looking slightly irritated.

Komaeda chuckled as he made his way out of the restaurant, walking to the beach silently through the cool air.

As he felt the sand beneath his feet, he spotted a familiar someone sitting at the beach peacefully.

Hinata sat there, a black jacket around his shoulders, his antenna swaying slightly in the wind, staring at the impossibly blue ocean before them. 

“Hinata-Kun?” Komaeda called to his friend.

“Huh?” 

“Oh, hey Komaeda.” He said as he turned his gaze back to the foamy waves.

Komaeda nodded as he stepped towards him, sitting down silently beside him.

Even though they were no longer inside the program, the waves looked just as beautiful.

“Uh, Komaeda? What exactly did you come here for? I mean, I just don't usually see you here at the beach..” Hinata asked, eyes still fixed on the waves.

“Ah, nothing much really. Perhaps I just wanted to see my dear friend Hinata!” Komaeda chuckled.

“Oh, I see why you may not want to call me a friend, I'm sorry for making assumptions-”

“Dude, will you cut that out already? It's getting really old.” Hinata said, cutting Komaeda off.

“Of course you’re... My friend. I thought we’d established this already.”

“Oh, I see. Well, I’m so glad you pity me enough to call me a friend, Hinata! I am truly honored.” Komaeda chuckled.

Hinata groaned as he turned his attention back to the ocean, glimmering in the bright morning sun. 

Komaeda thought in the silence, a peaceful moment between the two.

“I was also wondering... Hm…” His voice trailed off as he stared at the ground, thinking.

“Yeah, What is it?” 

“I may be super talented now or, whatever, but I can't read minds, y’know.”

“Haha, I know that, Hinata-Kun. I was just thinking... How have you been?”

Hinata stared at him for a moment, puzzled. 

“Yeah, I mean, I’m fine, I guess. What brought this up?” Hinata asked.

“I mean, you’ve never really been the kinda guy to ask that kinda stuff.”

“Ah, It's not that I was particularly worried or anything, I know you and all the other Ultimates can overcome any troubles or despair brought upon you! That's just the kind of hope you all harbor.

I was really just curious..”

Komaeda looked again at the sand, thinking.

“I suppose I’ve noticed you come to the beach a lot, alone. And you always look like you’re deep in thought. You seem like you're.. Missing something, maybe”.

Hinata took his gaze away from the waves and stared silently at Komaeda for a moment.

“Am I correct in my assumption?” Komaeda asked, meeting Hinatas eyes with a curious smile. 

Hinata stood there for a moment, thinking, then turning his eyes back to the ocean.

“Maybe a little.”

“...Have you been thinking about, her?”

Hinata quickly turned back to look at Komaeda, surprised by his question. They hadn’t really talked about her very much since the program. The only one who... Never got a second chance at life.

They had explained everything that had happened to the people who died in there, but it all ended in silence, everyone deep in thought.

Nobody truly had time to grieve over her death, not in the program, or really even once they’d all woken up. There was too much to think about, process. It was all just, too much. But...

“No, I don't really think that's it,” Hinata spoke with confidence.

“I... I miss her, a lot. We all do, but…”

He paused for a moment, turning his gaze up to the bright sky, not a foggy cloud in sight.

“I think I’ve made my peace with her, now that I think about it. This is exactly what she wanted, what she worked so hard to have for us. What she died for.”

“We’re all here, and alive, no despair in any of us, right? I.. I think that everything is good. And if she could see us all right now, she’d be happy. Y’know?”

Komaeda stared deeply at Hinata, at his smile as he gazed at the sky.

_ ‘He’s right.’  _ Komaeda thought.

_ ‘This is what she wanted, this is the happy ending that they all deserve, that she wanted for us.’ _

“Them, what exactly is it that you think you’re missing, Hinata-Kun?”

“..I dunno yet.”

_ ‘He brings hope to everyone around him, no matter the situation. What a truly beautiful person he is.  _

_ I truly don't deserve him.’ _

Komaeda stood up, extending a hand towards Hinata.

“Let's go, everyone's waiting for us at the restaurant, y'know.”

He gave a warm smile as he spoke.

Hinata grabbed his hand, pulling him up from the sand as he gave him a small nod. 

“..Uh, Komaeda? Can you let go of my hand now?” 

“Oh, haha, of course. My apologies, Hinata-Kun.”


	2. Working and Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> komaeda hasnt taken any medications in like a billion years so as a result, his symptoms have been getting progressively worse, and instead of telling anyone he up and peaces out of the room when he's lowkey dying aha

They arrived shortly at the restaurant, a walk in silence as they both quietly pondered some of the words the other had spoken.

As soon as they arrived and stepped through the door of the restaurant, the sound of Kuzuryu’s voice could be heard yelling as he spotted them.

“Christ, there you fuckers are! We thought you’d never fucking get here! Now hurry your asses up and get going, I’m gonna fucking kill you two if we’re late again. God, I can never be on time to jack shit with you people.” He spat out, shoving a finger angrily in Hinata’s chest.

“Y’know we still have like, 5 minutes left before they get here, right? We’ll probably be early, to be honest. It doesn’t take that long to walk to the docks.” Koizumi said as she stood up from her seat.

“Yeah, no need to get your panties in a bunch, baby face!” Saionji snickered as she stood alongside her, holding Koizumi’s hand.

“The FUCK did you just say to me?!” 

They continued to bicker and shove one another as they walked together across the island, their yelling and laughter filling the warm air all the way to the dock, and as they arrived they spotted a familiar ship as it stopped before them.

Naegi stood from the ship, waving his arm at them.

“Hey, guys! C’mon aboard!” he yelled at them.

They all piled on as Togami began yelling at Naegi for causing an unnecessary disturbance.

The ship began to move along the glazing water as they all talked happily amongst themselves.

“Waaa… I’m getting so tired of going on this dumb ship every week, It totally sucks..” Saionji whined as she leaned on the edge of the ship, looking down at the water with a pout.

“A-ah! D-do you have sea sickness?? I have some-”

“Nobody asked you, pigshit!” Saionji spat, cutting off Tsumiki’s concerned remark. 

“H-haah! I’m s-sorry!!” Tsumiki trembled as she guarded her face with her hands.

“Hiyoko... C’mon..” Koizumi pleaded to Saijonji, looking upset.

“Wha- Mmmn... Fine. Gimme your shitty medicine. But if it doesn’t work, I’ll throw you and your ugly bangs overboard with all the rest of the garbage.” Saionji sighed irritably, pouting.

“Wah! R-really? O-okay, I have this right here, j-just take two, and p-please don’t throw me overboard...”

Saionji huffed as she snatched the medicine from her hand, receiving a soft, shaky smile from Tsumiki.

Naegi smiled as he watched them all bicker at one another, laughter filling the air.   
They all looked so much happier, and…  
Normal. Like normal friends, on a normal day, spending time together.   
A pleasant feeling rushed over him at the sight, they had all worked so hard for this, together.

A warm feeling of fondness filled his chest, he was sure everyone must feel the same way.

He glanced over to someone sitting lonesome, hand leaning against his chin. Komaeda stood there, staring blankly at the water below them.

He walked over to greet him as he was staring, seeming entirely spaced out. He’d never really paid much attention to him, he thought.  
Naegi tapped a hand gently against his shoulder, and he flinched harshly at the action.

“A-ah! Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Naegi stated, retreating his hand from Komaedas’s shoulder quickly.

Komaeda stared blankly at him for a moment, then gave him a soft smile.

“Haha, Naegi! How wonderful it is to see you here today, what brings you over to a nobody such as myself?” He chuckled as if what he had just said was a completely normal statement.

“Ah, you aren’t a nobody, y’know... I care about all of you guys, you're all super important to everyone here. Anyways, I just kinda wanted to, y’know, check-in on you. I haven’t really gotten to talk to you a lot. So, how have you been?”

Komaeda stared at him, his arms leaning against the boat-side. 

“I wonder why you’d like to know about someone such as myself, but I have been perfectly fine! Spending time here with everyone on the island has been wonderful, and working amongst so many hopeful souls here at the Foundation has been incredible!” Komaeda announced, clasping his hands together.

He was always saying things like that, wasn’t he? Practically every time you talk to the guy he’s saying some pretty strange stuff, really… It was mildly irritating at times. But, did he really think that was about himself?

He sighed, thinking it was something he’d have to think about later. Right now he was here to have a nice conversation with his friend.

“So, have you been adjusting to the new workspace well? I know it was kinda sudden to have to move your guys’ office to the other side of the building like that, but you were just being a bit, uh… Rowdy.”  
Naegi recalled the many times he heard smashing and yelling from their office and came in running to find Nidai throwing Owari straight through a wall, or Koizumi Kicking Hanamura through a window or something for harassing them. He always found it quite remarkable that they all remained unharmed after any of those ordeals, They must be pretty experienced…

“Ah, it’s wonderful! It’s much quieter in there now, and will be much easier to get to the nurse’s office if anyone is harmed during one of Owari and Nidais many… Outbursts.” He chuckled.

“Haha, well I’m glad it’s working out well!” Naegi chuckled with a fond smile.

“Hey, you guys! We’re here!” Hina called out to them, waving her arm.

They all piled out of the boat together, walking through the halls to their office while getting some dirty looks from some workers as they argued at each other loudly, Kuzuryu spitting out curses at Souda between every word. They all seated themselves as they began working, just some simple paperwork and computer work. They didn’t usually assist on missions, besides Hinata of course. His talents were so overwhelming, although Naegi insisted he didn’t have to come on such dangerous missions with them, he always insisted on helping in any way he could.

Komaeda stared at his screen, deep in thought. As he snapped out of his train of thought, his screen began to get fuzzier as he stared. 

He groaned at this, it had been happening often lately. He did all he could for the Future Foundation in his attempt to help, and he still ended up messing things up, huh? He could barely concentrate on the words on his screen anymore, there was son way he could possibly get work done like this.

It had occurred to him recently that his symptoms had been starting to miss him. Of course, he hadn’t taken any of his medication in such a long while, he wasn’t quite sure why any of these episodes hadn’t happened recently at all. There was nothing really to be done about it, all they were was some antidepressants to suppress them as much as possible. He would be alright for now, it wasn’t like he was dying right now or anything, just a totally normal case of dementia, heh. There was no need to bother anyone else with his issues at the moment, he just needed to-

“KOMAEDA!” A voice shouted suddenly at him.  
He was startled, looking around in confusion.  
“Komaeda, look at me. What has happened? What’s wrong?” Sonia said, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder.  
Everyone was staring at him with concerned expressions on their faces.  
He felt his arm start to sting as he looked down at it, his mechanical hand with a strong grip on it.

“Dude, you are all scratching at your arm and stuff, you look super upset. The hell happened?” Owari shouted.

Ah, that irritating habit of his. He had always been one to cause quite a scene, usually without realizing it at all.   
He had caused trouble for them again, hadn’t he? 

“Aha… My apologies. I'll... Be back, heh.” He chuckled with a shaky smile as he quickly stumbled out of the room, holding onto his arm tight.

“Wha- Komaeda! Get the hell back here you fucking idiot! What the hell??” Fuyuhiko yelled after him.

They all stared silently at him, confused as he waved a trembling hand at them before shutting the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter ill probably have the next one out in like a few hours or something bc i wrote them as 1 chapter but then i was like shiver me timbers this is way too fucking long to be one chapter so i split it up, hope that's ok :00  
> also can you tell i have no idea what they do at the future foundation lmao- i assume they have paperwork?? stuff?? man idk just pretend it makes sense


	3. Failing Facades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im just jumping STRAIGHT into this shit hehehhe  
> komaeda tries hiding his symptoms and the fact that he's like passing out rn, and fails horribly

Komaeda stumbled through the halls, hand against the wall as his vision blurred more and more with each step.   
Where was he going again? He couldn’t quite remember what he was doing.

“Agh..” He groaned in annoyance. This used to happen all the time to him, having episodes like this. He remembered himself stumbling through the halls of his home, alone, mindlessly.   
His hands trailed the wall slowly as he walked.

“Komaeda? What’re you doing here, aren’t you supposed to be working right now? Do you need something?”

He looked up from the floor to see Kirigiri and Hina walking towards him.

“Woah, are you okay? You look really pale!” Hina stepped towards him with concern, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He drew out the words from his tired throat with a chuckle.  
“Haha, I’m quite fine, just taking a walk, heh.”

“Are you sure? You seem out of it, are you sick, perhaps?” Kirigiri questioned, an analyzing look on her face.

“Haha, really, I assure you, I’m alright. Just a bit, uh..” He stumbled over his words as his mind quickly went blank, the air around him turning heavy, as if it were weighing down on his shoulders.   
His legs caved in under him as he heard Hina calling out to him.

“Woah, Komaeda--!” 

As Komaeda hit the ground, Hina yelled after him, rushing over to grab his shoulders.

“Komaeda?? What-” She stuttered, confused.

“It seems, he’s collapsed...” Kirigiri stated, startled.

“Yeah, obviously-! Ah, w-what should we do? Is he okay??” Hina yelled out to her friend, distressed.

Kirigiri sat down next to him and stared, a focused expression on her face.

“He looks like he just fainted is all, we should take him to the medical office. His friend is working there, correct?” Kirigiri said as she stood.

“Ah, you’re right! Here, ill take him, I-its right around the corner-” Hina wrapped Komaedas arm around her shoulder, standing strongly.

“Jeez, he’s really light for a guy so tall…”

They made their way quickly to the nurse’s office, calling out to the girl putting some medicine from her tray onto the shelves.

“Tsumiki! We need your help, Komaeda--”  
As soon as they called out to her, she let out a scream as she tripped to the ground.

“W-WaaaH-!! Hnn, I’m so sorry, I-I tripped-!” She sat herself up quickly and hid her face in her hands, wiping tears.

“I-I’m so sorry, please forgive me… Okay, w-what was it that you-” She paused quickie as she laid eyes on Komaeda, laid on Hina’s shoulder.

“A-ah! What happened??” She yelped as she rushed to Komaeda.

“He collapsed in the hallway. he was also acting quite strange, now that I recall..” Kirigiri stated as Tsumiki placed Komaeda onto the bed in the office.

“S-strange…? How exactly?” Tsumiki said, pulling off Komaeda’s jacket. She seemed much calmer now, having collected herself.

“Well, he was kinda stumbling around, he seemed like he was lost or something. I dunno really, he just looked really confused.” Hina stated, looking at Komaeda with concern.

Tsumiki nodded as she stared at his arms, scratched and bandaged, a concerning sight really, but not something she needed to worry about at the current moment, turning her attention to other things as she took his arm and wrapped a blood pressure monitor around it.

A few minutes passed by in silence as Tsumiki checked his vitals.  
She took a deep breath as she spoke.

“H-he seems alright for now, his vitals are pretty normal, I think for now he just needs some rest… Once he wakes up, I’ll ask him more about what happened to make sure it’s not anything s-serious.”

“Alright then, if that’s all for now, Hina, we should head back to work before-” Kirigiri spoke before she was quickly cut off by a loud yell throughout the halls. 

“KOMAEDA! Where the hell did that fucker go…”

Hina peeked outside the office to see Kuzuryu, Sonia, and Owai calling Komaeda’s name and looking around, distressed.

“Hey, guys, uh, what’s going on here…?” Hina asked as she stepped out of the office, waving at them gently.

“Ah, hello. We are looking for Komaeda, he wandered off earlier and we are quite concerned. Did you happen to see him, perhaps?” Sonia said, putting a hand to her face as she sighed and looked to the side.

“Oh, he’s in here! C’mon-” Hina said waving the three into the nurse’s office.

“HUH? The hell happened to the guy??” Owari yelled as she rushed over to Komaedas’s bedside.

“He seems to have fainted in the halls, we just happened to be walking in the same direction as him, so we brought him here to rest up. He is not harmed from what we can see if that’s what you’re concerned about.” Kirigiri stated.

She paused for a moment, seeing their obvious concern for him.

“Did something happen? Why were you so worried about him when you were looking for him?” She asked.

“Oh yeah, he was being weird as hell. He was scratching at his arm all nervous, he looked like he just got hit in the head or somethin’, no wonder the guy passed out. He looked like he was about ready to collapse when he walked out the damn door!” Owari replied.

“Tch, what a fucking idiot. He could’ve said something if he felt off or whatever!” Kuzuryu said, crossing his arms in annoyance as he stared at Komaeda, looking quite peaceful as he slept.

Tsumiki clenched her arms to her chest nervously, looking concerned.

“U-um… I think for now we should just l-let him rest, we’ll ask him about all that when he w-wakes up, you guys should probably just g-get back to work so I can watch over him. Ah! I’m s-sorry if that was too forceful-!” She yelped, hiding her face in her arms quickly. 

“It’s alright Tsumiki! Do not worry about it, we shall comply with whatever makes things easiest for you, let us make our way back to work immediately!” Sonia said, putting a gentle hand on Tsumikis’s shoulder before turning on her heel and pushing the others out the door.

“Hey! Don’t fuckin’ push me, princess!” Kuzuryu yelled in retaliation.

“We gotta leave Tsumiki alone to do her work, that guys gonna be fine, he’s always been weird, he probably just ate a weird mushroom or somethin’! Now get a move on, lunch is soon and Hanamuras workin’ at the cafeteria today!” Owari yelled, slapping a hand on Kuzuryu’s back, laughing.

“Alright, now that- Those three are gone, we should really get back to work now Hina,” Kirigiri stated as she turned her heel towards the door.

“A-alright, see you later!” Tsumiki said with a heavy stutter as she wiped a drop of sweat from her forehead and stumbled over to Komaedas bedside. 

“Hey, maybe you should, I dunno, take a break or something, Tsumiki. You look, like, super worn out, plus, isn’t your work here at the office over by now?” Hina said as she placed a hand over Tsumiki’s shoulder.

“H-hah, It’s alright, I-I have to watch over Komaeda… I s-shouldn’t leave him alone in here- A-ah! I didn’t mean to sound like I was complaining! I-I love working here at the office, heheh..!” She yelped, guarding her face with her hands as she trembled.

“Hey, It’s okay! Here, I can watch over him for a bit. I have a lot of break time, and I can take lunch off in here so you can have a break, it should be fine, right Kirigiri?”

“Hm, I suppose it’s fine, You’re allowed to spend your breaks as you please…” Kirigiri said softly, playing with the small braid in her hair. 

“Aw, I’ll spend some time with you after work, ‘kay? No need to pout!” Hina said with a wide grin as she gripped Kirigiris’ hands into hers.

She smiled gently and turned out of the office with a wave.

“A-ah… It’s really alright, you must have so many more important things to do t-than doing my work for me…” Tsumiki stuttered.

“Ah, don’t be like that! It’ll be nice to spend some time here, It’s a nice quiet room. And plus, you look like you seriously need a break, so I insist!”

Tsumiki held her hands together nervously before rushing out of the room, thanking her.

Hina sighed in relief as the girl left, she really did look worn out.  
Do nurses always work themselves to the bone like this?   
She wondered to herself.  
Must be tiring, she looks like she’s about to cry or something half the time…

Hina took out a book from underneath a small desk next to her seat, and looked over to Komaeda, sleeping peacefully on the bed.

She had never really talked with him much, maybe she could make him a nice acquaintance once he woke up.  
She stared at his thin face with deep dark circles under him. He looked tired.   
She wondered if they ever spoke during their time at Hopes Peak together, maybe they were even friends…

She sighed quietly as she flipped a page in her book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *writes in kirihina content ~cutely~*  
> anyways i have a really good sense of where I'm going with this now so that's good lmao- uhhh ye i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter !!


	4. Tired Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hinata hears that komaeda collapsed, and worries a bit more than he should have.  
> boyfriend tingz I MEAN UH-

Komaeda blinked his eyes open.  
Soft sunlight showed through the curtains.  
An unfamiliar feeling came over him, he didn’t quite recognize where he was.   
He sat up quickly at this confusion, looking around at his surroundings.  
A hospital…? He thought to himself, a small ball of dread filling inside him.

“Ah, Komaeda! You’re awake! Are you okay?” An energetic voice asked him.

He quickly turned to his side to see Asahina standing quickly from her chair, and placing a book to her side. This grew his confusion even more.

“Ah, Hina! Hello, lovely to see you!” He drew out with a small smile, sitting up further.

“If you don’t mind, ah, where exactly am I at the moment?” He asked her, tilting his head slightly in confusion.

“Oh, yeah. You’re in the nurse’s office! Do you… Remember what happened?” She asked concernedly. 

He put a hand to his chin in thought, trying to recall what had happened before this.  
He… Must have been at work, when, ah… There goes his memory. A fuzzy image of stumbling through the halls was the only thing that came to his mind. 

“I’m afraid my memory may be a bit hazy, heh…” 

“Okay, well you kinda passed out in the middle of the halls, and Kirigiri and me caught you, so we brought you here! I hope that’s okay.” She smiled at him.

“Ah, that’s fine! I deeply apologize for making you have to deal with that, someone such as myself, causing trouble for you all once again.” He chuckled to her softly.

“What?? You didn’t cause any trouble at all, Komaeda. Don’t say things like that about yourself!” She pointed at him.  
“Ah, I am only stating the truth, Hina. Anyways, I should get going now, there’s no need for me to-” 

“Uh, no friggin’ way! You haven’t even told me what happened. I am not letting you leave until you explain yourself.” She said, crossing her arms as she sat back down in her chair, glaring at him.

He paused at her, surprised at her statement. There was no reason to keep herself here, he was really fine now… Kinda.

“Ah, It’s really nothing! I must have just been tired is all, heh.” He chuckled at her.

“I don’t believe that for a second.” She said sternly.  
“Your friends came by trying to find you, they were pretty worried about you. They said you were acting very strange and upset. That doesn’t happen by just being tired, now does it?” 

He stared for a minute, trying to recall what he had been doing. His arms began to sting as he looked down at them, being newly bandaged up. 

“I’m really alright, there’s no need for any further worry! There isn’t any reason I should be keeping you here, Hina.”

She glared at him strongly, obviously seeing straight through his statements.

“Fine. You don’t have to talk right now. But there’s no way I’m letting you leave here with just saying, ‘I must have been tired’ because that’s crap!” She pouted at him, continuing to stare.

A few moments passed in silence. The open window blowing a gentle wind into the room through the curtains.

“...So, how have things been on the island?” Hina spoke.

“Ah, things have been wonderful! Living there with everyone there has been incredible! I can watch their hope blooming and growing stronger by the day! It is such a wonderful sight. Hinata is so full of hope now, he brings everyone together beautifully.” Komaeda held his arms at the thought.

“You, really like talking about hope, don’t you?” Hina smiled at the expression on his face as he talked about it.

“Of course I do! It is the most wonderful force in the world and is slowly beginning to restore the world from its reign of despair! Even us disgusting remnants were able to recover from it, isn’t that fascinating? Even the most despairful people in the world, with so much blood on our hands, can be overcome with hope, and grow stronger every day!” He continued to rant about the beauties of hope with a wide grin, eyes lit up bright.

Hina chuckled as he spoke. He looked much more lively now.

“It looks like you’ve been adjusting to it well, then.”

Komaeda smiled at her brightly with a nod.   
He looked down to his bed, his expression going dull.

“Heh, I’ve never really liked hospitals. I know this is just a nurse’s office, but it’s so similar, isn’t it! It almost smells the same as well!” He looked back up at her with a much lighter smile.

“Huh, I guess so. I’ve always found them pretty peaceful, really. Once, I hurt my foot because I accidentally jumped into the shallow end of the pool, and I was in the hospital for a bit. But even though it totally sucked, I found the hospital pretty peaceful. The nurses were always really nice to me and stuff! What about you?” Hina asked him happily.

“Hmm… I have been in quite a few hospitals, and they always seemed very dull to me. The nurses always tried their best to seem kind, but I could tell they wanted nothing more than to go home instead of caring for some random kid. Of course, I understand it. It must have been quite tiring looking after someone such as myself, always bringing trouble with my luck.” He chuckled softly. 

Hina stared at him sadly.

“Y’know, what is it about your luck? You talk about it like it’s a bad thing, but wouldn’t it be a good thing to have good luck coming to you all the time?”.

“Well, it isn’t all good luck. My luck works in mysterious ways. Terribly unlucky things happen to me, and then suddenly a spark of remarkable good look comes my way!”.   
“It… has hurt many people. My presence here will always cause distress and pain on the people around me, that’s just how it works.” He said softly, keeping a small smile.  
He looked down at his bed sadly

Suddenly, a pair of arms flung around his shoulders. 

Hina pulled him into a tight hug, almost jumping straight out of her seat.

“A-ah, Asahina, wha-”

“Don’t say things like that! I’m so sorry you’ve had to live with something that can be dangerous like that, but it isn’t fair to put it all on yourself, Komaeda!”

Komaeda sat there, silent. Almost stunned by her actions and her words. 

'Not put it all on myself? What does that… Countless people in my life have been hurt because of me just being around them, living. So, how can I not…'

He stared down at the ground in thought, before closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around Hinas back tightly. 

She hung on for some time before letting go, Hina looking at him with a kind smile.

“Here, Tsumiki should be back from her break soon, lets talk about something nicer! Hmm… What do you like to do?” She asked as she sat back down in her chair.

He was still surprised by her words, confused.   
“Ah, I…” 

He sighed quietly, letting go of the thought.

“I like to read.” He said with a soft, sincere smile.

“Ooo, what’s your favorite book?” 

“Hmm… I enjoyed, ‘The midwives apprentice’, Its about…” 

They talked for some time, awaiting Tsumiki’s return. The cool air filled with the pleasant chatter of the two.

________

“Hinata, bro!” Souda yelled as he swung an arm around his friend’s shoulders.  
“How was the mission? You look like shit, honestly.” He looked at him, brushing some dirt off his blazer.

Hinata sighed. Yeah, it had been a pretty long day. He had been helping out on missions quite often, almost every day since with his talents he could be put to good use.  
But even talented people get tired out, sometimes.

“Yeah, it was fine I guess. I just wish I got more time to just chill and do useless paperwork like everyone else.” He yawned.

“Dude, you’re the one who insists on coming whenever Naegi leaves for a mission. If you don’t wanna go why the hell do ya’ volunteer?!”

“I dunno. I just wanna make sure my talents are put to good use, who am I to be the Ultimate, everything, and not even help out with important stuff?” Hinata said, pushing Soudas arm off from his shoulders and stretching.

“Eh, I guess that makes sense. But don’t burn yourself out or something, don’t want my soul-bro going and dying on me or somethin’”. He chuckled, punching Hinata in the shoulder playfully as he walked off.

“Ow, asshole…” He muttered under his breath as he joined the others. 

“Hey, Hinata! What’s up, man? You want some leftovers?” Owari asked, holding a small plate stacked with small sandwiches.

“How did you get that many…? And how are they even standing on the plate??”

“Eh, nevermind that! How come you missed lunch, man? You totally missed out, Mahiru karate-chopped Hanamura right in the baby-makers! It was wild!” She laughed loudly, pointing to Hanamura sitting on his chair happily.

“You should have seen it Hinata! Violent girls really get the gears turnin’, you get what I mean?” He winked at him.

“...Yeah. Maybe you should stop trying stuff with everyone like that or we’ll get Asahina on you again, and we definitely won’t hold her back this time.” Yeah. It might have to take a few broken arms to get Hanamura of all people to stop harassing people. It’s like telling a dog not to bark or something, it’s just how he is.

Hinata sat himself down in his chair, leaning his head back with a sigh. It had been a bit of a long day.

His eyes stung with how tired they were.   
‘Heh, I guess even the Ultimate Talent gets kinda worn out sometimes.’ He thought to himself. 

His thoughts drifted to the beach. He and Komaeda sitting peacefully under the sun, the waves in front of them as they talked, making a calming sound.   
Komaeda’s soft smile on his face as his hair danced in the wind.

He sat straight up quickly.

“Jeez, you good Hinata? You look sick or something. Is everyone just fucking dying around here?” Kuzuryu looked at him, he couldn’t tell if it was a look of concern or anger. Maybe that was kinda normal, though.

“Uhh, yeah, I’m fine.” He stumbled over his words as he straightened out his hair.  
'Wait, what? Who's dying?'

"Hey, where's Komaeda? I don't see him here?" He looked around the room, scratching the back of his neck.

“Oh, yeah. Ask Tsumiki.” Kuzuryu replied, eyes gluing to his computer. When he wasn’t yelling at everyone, he was actually quite productive and a pretty hard worker.

Huh? Tsumiki?  
That was, weird.

“Uh, Tsumiki?” He tapped her on the shoulder gently.

“EEEP-!” She yelped and flinched away from his hand quickly.

“A-ah, I’m sorry…!” She hid her face in her hands.

“Uh, yeah. Have you seen Komaeda?” He repeated.

“Oh, y-yeah, he’s still in the m-medical office…” She stuttered, lowering her hands to look at Hinata.

“Wait, WHAT?” He yelled out, standing quickly from his seat.

“Waaaa-! I-I’m sorry, I should have said e-earilier!” She guarded herself with her arms again.

“Hey, don’t yell at Tsumiki like that! She’s very fragile, like a little bird!” Mioda looked at Hinata sternly while she pat Tsumiki gently on the head as she cried.

He stared at them nervously. 

“Do not worry, Hinata! Komaeda is alright, he only fainted in the halls. We are sure he is quite alright!” Sonia said, patting him on the shoulder.

“Yeah, he was acting super weird before that too.” Kuzuryu leaned back in his chair, an almost concerned look on his face.

Weird? What does that mean? He was always acting weird, how much worse could it really get?

.” O-okay, well I’ll be g-going now…” Tsumiki wiped tears from her face and stood, stumbling to the doorway.

“Hey, Tsumiki? Can I come with you?” He asked, almost surprising himself.   
He knew he was fine, there was nothing to worry about anything. So why was this asshole making him worry so much…?   
Ugh, whatever. He really likes to fuck with my head, doesn’t he?

“Huh? U-um, sure, I don’t know if he’s a-awake, but you can come if you want…”

She waved her hand slightly before walking through the doorway, Hinata following soon behind.

He thought hard as he followed Tsumiki through the halls. He really wasn’t sure why he was worrying so much. He was probably just tired, the guy looks like he hasn’t slept in a week…  
He paused in his steps for a moment, thinking about him. He really… Didn’t look very healthy, did he? Everyone looked pretty rough when they woke up from the program, but from what he could remember from the killing game, he looked just as tired. So thin and pale. An image of Komaeda filled his thoughts. His thin wispy hair flowing in the warm air as they stood at the beach. His thin fingers grabbing onto his hand, saying good morning as he usually did.  
He looked, so tired. He always looked so tired.  
Why hadn’t I…

“H-Hinata…? Why did you stop? A-AH! Are you still mad at me for not telling you about Komaeda?! I-I’m so sorry... if you’re gonna kill me, just do it now-!” Tsumiki stuttered out.

“Wha- No, I was just thinking. I’m not gonna kill you, jeez…” He continued walking, keeping the thought at the back of his mind as they stepped towards the office.

“Oh, hi Tsumiki, you’re back!” Hina jumped from her seat and walked over to Tsumiki.  
“Komaeda’s up and at-em!”

“Komaeda! You’re awake! Great, I-I need to do some testing and ask you some questions about-” Tsumiki said as she spotted the chattering Komaeda before Hinata walks past her quickly.

“Ah, Hinata! How are you doing today, how was the mission?” He said with a smile as if he wasn’t sitting in a nurse’s office looking like he hadn’t slept in weeks.

Hinata looked at him, arms crossed across his chest.

“Huh? What’s wrong Hinata? Your face is all scrunched up-”   
-Flick-

Hinata bent down and flicked Komaeda right between his eyes.

“Wha- Ow! What was that for, huh?” He rubbed the spot on his forehead.

“You goddamn idiot! What the hell happened, huh? Kuzuryu said you rushed out of the room like a weirdo, and now you’re here all half passed out in a nurse’s office!” He poked him in the chest as he yelled.

“And what about it. I am perfectly fine, as you can see. There’s no reason to act like such a bully about it, Hinata.” Komaeda pouted and looked away from him.

“You probably wouldn’t even be here if you just opened your mouth and said something about this shit for once! God, just act like a NORMAL PERSON, for ONCE in your life!” 

“I don’t remember asking a reserve course student about my decisions.” 

“Wh- I am literally THE most talented person in the world. I have ALL the talents. I’m not even a stupid reserve course student anymore!”

“Well, you’re clearly not very skilled at geometry.” He looked back at Hinata with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Hinata paused.   
Ouch, that one kinda hurt.

He moped and sat down in the chair sitting next to his bed, plopping his head down angrily onto the mattress.

“Ah, there-there Hinata. Lot’s of people don’t know basic geometry!” Komaeda said happily, patting Hinatas ahoge gently.

“U-uh, Komaeda?” Tsumiki said quietly as if she was scared by all their yelling.

“Huh? Ah, Tsumiki! My apologies, what was it you needed from me?” 

“Um, I need to ask you about your, uh, incident.” She said, walking closer to him.

“What exactly happened? You look very d-dehydrated and tired, do you have any past medical history that could lead to something like this?” 

Hinata looked up from the bed, glancing up at Komaeda awaiting his response.

“...I’m not sure I do. I am quite healthy, as it happens, Must just be a bad day, y’know?” He said with a small smile, attempting to be reassuring. A smile so shaky, with eyes so tired, it couldn’t possibly have been very reassuring no matter how hard you try.

“O-okay… If you need anything, please tell me, okay?” She said as she handed him his jacket back, folded neatly. She didn’t seem any bit as convinced as the others, walking through the door hesitantly.

“See, Hina? I am perfectly alright! There was no need to keep yourself over here.”

“Well, we had a nice conversation, so I think it was worth it.” She pouted and walked out the door, following behind Tsumiki.

Hinata glared at him worryingly. He felt there wasn’t much to say about it.  
He stood from his seat as Komaeda slipped his jacket on, hugging his arms as if he was welcoming his jacket back to him.  
It was kinda cute, admittedly.  
Wait, what?

“Hinata! Let’s go, there’s no need to keep ourselves in this stuffy office anymore. Unless you’re sick? You are making a pretty weird face right now, do I need to call Tsumiki back in here?” 

“Huh? Wha- No, I’m fine. Let’s go get you some food, Hanamura has some leftovers in the office, we can eat them on the ride home, okay? We can’t have you passing out again.” Hinata said, placing his hand on Komaedas shoulder gently.

“Haha! Alright, let us hope Owari hasn’t eaten all of them already!”

“Shit, you’re right! She ate like 20 sandwiches off her plate at once last time I saw her, let’s hurry!”

They sprinted through the halls, slowing down after Komaeda couldn’t keep up, laughing at each other as they walked.

Maybe, I don’t have anything to worry about. Things right now are…  
Good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck sorry this took a bit longer than usual, I felt kinda bad that the chapters have been pretty short and the writing was kinda shit ngl, so here's a long ass chapter lol.  
> sorry I'm not very good at moving the story along very quickly, I'm honestly just making shit up as i go but i promise i will add some good angst as soon as i can bro >:D


	5. Why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata stumbles upon Komaeda, injured, and continuing to act like everything is fine. What a pain. He'd never do that. Nope.  
> *MINOR BLOOD/INJURY WARNING*

Hinata groaned as he stared at the ceiling of his cottage, his limbs aching.  
Sleep never came easily to him, even before all of this. He’d just stare mindlessly at the ceiling, listening to the wind blowing through the trees. Sometimes he’d listen to the rain spattering on the roof, making small, calming noises as each drop hit his window. He almost missed those moments, when things were more… Normal…

…

“AUGH-!” Hinata groaned as he sat up quickly, slapping his hands against his cheeks.

“Shut up, brain! Those thoughts are so useless. Things are good now, great even. We have a job where we can help people the way we’ve always wanted to, everyone on the island are all finally happy now too. It’s just dumb to mope about the past, It’s not like life was good then anyways…” 

A ball of dread filled his heart as if he was on a rollercoaster. That deep feeling in your chest, that you never really know what it’s from. It almost ached as he gripped his shirt tightly.

“...This is stupid.” He mumbled to himself as he dragged himself up from his bed, walking to the bathroom and staring at himself in the mirror. He looked at his face, it was sunken, his eyes were tired and dark. That red eye staring back at him, a permanent reminder of everything that had happened to all of them. He supposed it wasn’t as bad as some of the others, Kuzuryu lost an eye, Komaeda lost a whole damn arm

“....AAAGH! Why am I thinking about that right now??” He yelled, flicking himself on the forehead to clear it from his head. He leaned his head against the mirror as he sighed. He was tired. But he knew there was no point in trying to sleep anymore. 

“Ow- Ughhh…” His shoulders ached. “I should take this stupid thing off…” He mumbled to himself, staring down at his chest.  
God, he was pathetic. Moping over something so dumb. He really needed to get his shit together. He rubbed his eyes softly as he slipped on his sweater and shoes, making his way towards his door. The cool air blowing on his face surely woke him up now, at least. The cooling air around him surrounded him as he stepped out of his cottage, taking a deep breath. 

Hinata walked mindlessly around the beach, he did this often when he couldn’t sleep. Sometimes he even ended up falling asleep there a few times, it wasn’t as pleasant as it sounded. Bits of sand getting stuck in your clothes and hair, ew. He closed his eyes as he felt the air surround him in the night. You could almost still see the blue in the ocean, even in such darkness. 

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket as he sighed. It was nice out here, but he was still pretty bored. And boredom always brought those, stupid thoughts… He looked around at the island. It was so beautiful here in the dark, but nothing could compare to the nights in the simulation. He never got a wink of sleep then, and he’d head over to the beach every night after trials. The sky glittered mesmerizingly. It was almost hard to look away sometimes.

As he stared endlessly at the stars, a small figure caught his eye. Someone walking out of their cottage at this time? Well, It wasn’t like he wasn’t doing the same thing, or like nobody else ever went out at night sometimes either. But Hinata felt a small ball of dread building up in his stomach. Sometimes this would happen, a feeling of suspicion and worry filling up inside him. He knew he never had to worry about that stuff anymore, everyone was safe and happy here, but… That ball of dread never goes away, does it? That dark, empty feeling in his chest. It almost hurt to ignore it. But god, did he try.  
He stared at the figure, before slapping his face with his hands.  
“Just go see who it is, ugh… Just go make sure, right? Just…”  
He stopped his train of thoughts and started running towards them. Thinking so much won’t get you anywhere.  
He stopped before them, a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead.  
“H-Hey! Uh, who’s…” He yelled towards them, as they turned to face him.  
Their pale face was almost illuminated under the stars, even with such little light. Their hair flowed in the cool wind as they met eyes.

“Hinata…?” They said. Their voice strained as if they were using all their strength to say that one word.

“Komaeda?” Hinata yelled. 

“Ah, Hinata. How nice it is to see you! What’re you doing here?” Komaeda asked, chuckling. 

“Wha- I’m just, going for a walk. Nothing unusual. What’re you doing here?” Hinata asked, walking closer towards Komaeda. 

“The same as you, Hinata!” He smiled widely as he spoke. There was something uncertain about his words, his tone. Hinata looked at him, something was… 

“Holy shit Komaeda, your arm-!” He yelled. As he turned his attention away from his wide smile, the blood dripping down Komaeda’s arm caught his eye.  
“What the fuck happened?” He spoke, grabbing his arm, staring at the wound. 

“Ah, I nearly forgot. It’s nothing, in fact, I was just heading over to the Pharmacy to grab some bandages! There’s no need for you to worry.” He chuckled.  
Seriously, what was with him? He was acting like he just tripped or some shit, he was practically bleeding out! There was no way he was gonna be able to treat this himself right now, his hands are…

“Your hands are shaking, Komaeda. It’s crazy you can even stand, to be honest. You look like you’re about to collapse or something.” His voice became shakier as he yelled.  
It wasn’t like he was gonna die or anything, but… Why was he being like this? It was painfully irritating, being nothing out of the ordinary. However, the tone he recognized in Komaedas voice as he told everyone not to worry about how tired he was, or injured, every day. That shaky smile showing itself once again, one that he tried so hard every day to put up, Hinata just couldn’t stand the sight of it anymore. He wasn't exactly sure why. That pit in his stomach deepened as he stared at the blood on Komaedas's jacket and the smile on his face.

“Really, Hinata. Just let me handle this by myself! You should just-” Komaeda smiled again, trying to convince Hinata to let him be. But something came over Him, he just, couldn’t let him go. After he said the same damned line for the hundredth time, the urge to reach up and strangle him grew stronger. God, why was he like this?  
Hinata reached up and slapped his hands against Komaedas’s face, holding it tightly.

“Ouch! Hinata, what-”

“Just shut the hell up already. You’re being even more annoying by dragging this out like this, seriously.” Hinata told him strictly. Komaeda stared at him in awe.

“Just, please… Let me help you.” Hinata looked down to his feet as he let go of Komaedas’ face. He was frustrated, Komaeda was being so goddamn irritating, and for what? Was it just to mess with him?  
Komaeda continued to stare at Hinata, his eyes were wide open, his shock even visible in such darkness. He looked down at his feet silently before opening his mouth to speak.  
“Hinata, I…” He trailed off silently and began to wobble in his steps. “Agh, heh, this is annoying….” He held his head in his hand as he attempted to stable himself.

“Woah, jeez, Komaeda!” Hinata turned to him quickly and held his shoulders tight.

Hinata glared at him with concern. He was gonna bleed out or something if they didn’t get him cleaned up. The wound didn’t even look that deep, he should be okay right now, but he was obviously dizzy or something, they needed to get going.  
Hinata draped Komaedas arm over his shoulders. He was much taller than Hinata so it was a bit difficult, but he kept walking toward his cottage nonetheless. 

“Hinata! You don’t…” Komaeda insisted the best he could, his voice shaky and unstable as it trailed off. Hinata glared at him as he continued walking. 

“...” 

Komaeda closed his eyes and lowered his head, complying silently.

They walked through the dark to Hinatas cottage. It was almost peaceful. The sound of the waves crashing was closed out as Hinata shut the door behind them. He sat Komaeda onto his bed and took off his jacket.

“Here, I’ll go grab my first aid kit. Stay put.”  
An awkward silence filled the room as Hinata came back with the small box of medical supplies and began wiping the blood from Komaedas arm with a warm rag. 

“So, what happened? And don’t tell me it ‘doesn’t matter’ or something, because that’s bullshit and it’s irritating. Just be straightforward with me for once.” His tone came out to be more blunt and angry than he had intended.

“I... “ Komaeda said softly before trailing off once again. “I don’t remember.”

“Wha- That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said! And that’s saying a lot, y’know. How the hell do you not remember getting a huge gash in your arm?” Hinata yelled as he wiped disinfectant onto Komaedas arm.

“I would- Ow. I would not lie do you Hinata. Do you doubt me? I find that quite offensive, as a matter of fact. How dare you Hinata.” 

“Ugh, seriously! I wanna know! Why can’t you take anything seriously when we need it-” Hinata groaned.

“I…. I… Don’t remember.” Komaeda mumbled. “I may have hit my arm on something as I was walking back to my cottage, but I have no idea what.”

“...Do you seriously not remember?” Hinata pestered.

“...I guess I don’t. Heh, just the flimsy memory of a worthless idiot! As expected. I’m sorry for causing you such trouble with this Hinata. Man, I truly am the worst.” Komaeda held his arms as he spoke, looking down at the ground.

“Agh, stop moving! And shut up with that shit, nobody thinks you’re worthless because you’re annoying sometimes and have a shitty memory.” Hinata rolled his eyes as he tightened the bandage around Komaedas arm, wiping his hands and sighing. 

“There. All done.”

“Ah, how wonderful! It’s perfect, just as expected of The Great Hinata!” Komaeda clasped his hands together and smiled brightly.

“What does that even- Urg. You can go now. See ya.” Hinata groaned.

“Oh. I guess that would be appropriate. Again, I’m sorry for bothering you with such a meaningless task, Hinata.” Komaeda grabbed his jacket, waving as he walked toward the door. “Goodnight, Hinata.” There was a profound emptiness in his words. It was an unexplainable feeling that ran down Hinatas spine as Komaeda said those words. That soft sadness in his tone made a lump grow in his throat. Had he been being too harsh? He was being pretty annoying today, but maybe some unnecessary words were being said… 

“...Hey Komaeda?” Hinata asked before Komaeda shut the door, before looking up at him.  
His head was leaning against the door, his body trembling softly. Goddamnit. “Wh- Komaeda? What is it now?!” Hinata rushed to his side, grabbing onto his shoulders.

“Ah, I guess I’m just feeling a bit dizzy. I’m alright now, I’ve bothered you enough for the night…” Komaeda chuckled.  
Hinata glared at him, before holding onto his arm and dragging him back inside.

“Eh? H-Hinata, let me go. I’m perfectly capable of walking back to my cottage on my own-”

“No. I don’t think so.”

“What? How do you know better than I do, Hinata? You sure are full of yourself, being a reserve course student.”  
Hinata looked back up at him with a glare.  
“...Is this your way of pissing me off so I’ll leave you alone? Well, it’s not gonna work. You’re shaking like crazy and you look like you’re about to pass out. Just sit down, you asshole.” 

“...”

“Fine. If that will make you happy, dear Hinata.” Komaeda complied, sitting himself down on the ground in front of Hinatas bed.  
‘Dear....?’  
“Why the hell are you sitting on the floor? There’s a bed right there.” Hinata pointed to the bed Komaeda was leaning his back against.

“I happen to enjoy sitting on the floor. They’re very calming.”  
In what world was sitting on a cold floor more calming than sitting on a bed? 

“Fine. You’re weird as hell.” Hinata mumbled, plopping himself onto the floor next to Komaeda with a sigh. “...So what exactly are we going to do here? Since you’re being stubborn and won’t let me leave, am I supposed to sleep here? How indecent, Hinata.” Komaeda pouted, sitting his chin onto his knees as he pulled them up to his chest.

“What? No-! Who the hell do you think I am?” What an annoying guy he could be. “Let’s just chill here until you feel okay enough to not die in your sleep or pass out on your way back to your room. Here, I’ll go get you some water.” Hinata stood promptly to grab a glass of water.

“...” 

“Here you go,” Hinata said as he placed the water cup beside Komaeda, sitting himself down next to him once again. Komaeda continued to stare blankly at the floor, ignoring him.

“....”

“...What’s wrong? You seem so… Weirdly pissed right now.” Hinata asked.  
Komaeda stared blankly still, before quickly turning his head with a smile. 

“My apologies, Hinata. I’m irritating you, aren’t I?” He chuckled.

“Yeah, kinda. I just don’t get why you’re mad at me right now.”

“Ah, I’m not mad. I just… I suppose I was being a bit unfair to you just now.”  
He switched up his attitude pretty quick.

“...How about you, Hinata?” Komaeda asked.

“Huh? What about me? I’m not being annoying or anything.”

“Haha, I mean how are you?”

“...Huh?” He mumbled, confused. “I’m… I’m fine.”

“Huh? Is something the matter, Hinata? You’re making a weird face.” Komaeda asked with a soft chuckle.

“Nothing… I am dunno. I’m fine.” Hinata mumbled angrily. He was fine. Totally fine. Everything was great.

“Hinataaaaa…?” Komaeda poked at him with his metal hand.

“OW- That hurt! Control your hand, please.”

“Hahaha, I always forget that It's metal. My apologies.” He laughed.

“Urg… Yeah, yeah….” Hinata grumbled through a yawn. He hadn’t slept at all in a few days…. Of course, the one time he felt tired, he’s gotta make sure this asshole doesn’t die or something.

“Hinata?” Komaeda mumbled as if he were half asleep. Something they had in common at the moment.

“Yeah? What is it now?” 

“...Do you hate me?”  
A deafening silence filled the air all of a sudden. The shock of those sudden words clung to Hinatas chest.  
“Where... Did that come from?” 

“I’m not sure. I’m sure I know the answer, I was just curious. My apologies.”  
Hinata paused for a moment, glaring at Komaeda as he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the bed frame.

“...No.” 

Komaeda nearly jolted his head up at this, his soft expression quickly turning to shock and confusion.

“I… I did. For a while. You did some… Horrible things when we were in the killing game. You were cunning and manipulative. I thought that you truly felt no fear or empathy. I… hated you.” 

Komaeda almost winced at that word, his face straight, yet you could feel the pain behind it if you looked at it.

“But… I realized that was naive. It was fair, at least then. But there’s still so much I don’t know about you. I can’t hate you. It’s just, impossible.” Hinata pulled his knees to his chest as he spoke. Speaking of the simulation… Especially events like these were painful. They stung as the words came out of his mouth. 

Komaeda stared, his eyes wide as if he’d never heard anything like this before in his life. A heavy silence weighed in the air as they glared at each other before Komaeda closed his eyes once again. 

“I see.” 

The two sat in the quiet. There was no need, nor want, for any words. They had gotten to hear and speak things that they both needed desperately. Hinata knew he’d forgiven Komaeda for everything that happened then such a long time ago, yet when he thought about all the things he’d done, all the suffering he’d caused them all for the sake of some fucked up ideology that ultimately made him worthless in his own eyes, it hurt. He didn’t realize how much it hurt, that little ball of dread felt like a ball of fire in his chest as he reminisced on everything they’d all been through together. Normally by now, he’d be covering his ears like a child and desperately trying to think of anything else he possibly could, but not now. Now, the memories took their full image in his head. It hurt.  
He turned over to Komaeda, sitting at his side. The man who deepened their suffering so much, who’d made things so much harder than all of them, who he once deemed never to be forgiven, was sitting at his side, now sound asleep. His soft breaths felt like the only sound in the whole world at that moment. 

Why didn’t he mind it that way?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo, its me. sorry for the wait, I've been trying to make the chapters a considerable bit longer than they have been, so they might take a bit longer than they have in the past. sorry about that !!  
> anyways, i wanted to bring some stuff up real quick, mainly my whole focus on this fic. as I've said before, I'm gonna focus a lot on komaedas illnesses and his refusal to receive help about them, but another big focus of mine besides komaedas shitty mental health and dumbassery, is hinatas shitty mental health and dumbassery. see, i think that hinata would also be seriously struggling post-game. i think that he'd be constantly trying to help people with his talents after he's finally able to do what he's yearned for so long. I think he'd be wearing himself out paper-thin and also not wanting to receive help, thinking he's strong enough and able enough now. his serious self-doubt would plummet him down even further and become so much worse. there's a lot i wanna do with him and his struggles, i just wanted 2 let yall know where this shits going because lemme tell you i have so much angst planned rn its wack. anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter !! thank you to anyone whos read my work, it means so much to me :)


	6. The betrayal in her face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsumiki has a bit of a talk with Komaeda.

Hinata opened his eyes to a sharp pain in his neck. He groaned as he felt the back of his shoulders.  
Ouch… Who’s shitty idea was it to sleep on the floor again?  
He yawned and rubbed his eyes, and felt a strange movement on his shoulder. A soft feeling on his neck shifted. He looked over to his side slowly, only to discover Komaeda, resting his head peacefully on his shoulder.  
“AAGH-!” Hinata yelped before quickly covering his mouth. “What… The hell…?” He mumbled to himself. The events of the night prior slowly loading itself into Hinatas mind as he looked at the sleeping man at his side. The strange, half-asleep conversation they had came to mind. It was strange, it confused him the more he thought about it. The words he’d spoken even shocked him a bit. Was that, really how he felt...? His face suddenly felt warm.  
He turned back to Komaeda.  
‘I should wake him up, this is weird…’ He thought to himself. He supposed it was the result of both of them being so desperately tired. He remembered that look in his eyes after he told him that he… He could never hate him.  
His hand hovered over Komaedas’s shoulder in his attempt to wake him as he thought about that image. His eyes, looking so tired and worn down, yet so full of shock and wonder as Hinata spoke those words to him.  
There was no way he was going to be able to wake him up. He stared down at him, his white lashes fluttering slightly as Hinata let go of the tension in his shoulders with a sigh.  
‘Goddamnit.’  
‘Of course, great job, Hinata. You seriously can’t even wake up the guy literally all over you right now because you feel too bad.’ Pathetic.  
He continued to stare. He looked so… Peaceful. Why was that so mesmerizing to him? The sight of Komaeda looking so calm, so unstrained by the smile he pulls over his face every day. Strange, wasn’t it?  
‘God, this is so embarrassing. I spilled all that shit to him, and now I’m letting him sleep on my shoulder.” Hinata pinched the bridge of his nose as he groaned.  
He looked over at the bandage he’d wrapped around Komaeda’s arm, half soaked in blood yet still intact. That was good, even though he was barely even awake, he’d still managed to not fuck this up at least. He should do a better job once Komaeda woke up, however.  
Hinata suddenly yawned. It was bright in the morning, they probably had about half an hour until they had to get themselves to work, a thought that made him want to yawn even more. Waking up didn’t seem so good at the moment, now that he’d thought about it. Sure, the awkwardness of the situation he was in at the current moment was not exactly ideal. He wanted to run away at the moment. But the heaviness of his eyelids said otherwise.  
‘Ugh, fuck it.’ He mumbled to himself, slowly closing his eyes and leaning his head against his bed. There was a strange feeling of comfort as he felt Komaedas soft hair ruffle against his neck. He drifted slowly into the darkness in his head, relieved. Maybe for once, he’d even get a decent amount of sleep. Maybe even-

SMASH-

Oh good fucking lord.  
He jumped up quickly from his, for once in his life, relaxed state, now in a panic.  
“Holy shit-!?” Hinata yelled.

“Hiiiiiii Hinata!!” Mioda called to him as she jumped in front of him. “I needed to ask- WOAH! Is that Komaeda?” She looked down at them.

“I- What?” Hinata stuttered, baffled. 

“This is some serious BL action going on right now! Ibuki should call Hanamura in for this! Hey-”

“What? No-! We’re not- How the hell did you get in here? I locked the door this time.” 

“Through the window!” 

“The windows here don’t…” Ah. Of course. He gazed at the shattered glass all over his floor, the broken window shining beams of sunlight into the room, stinging his eyes.

“Well, it does now!” She said proudly. 

“...Great. Thanks, Mioda.” Hinata pinched the bridge of his nose. God, why did she always have to break into HIS house? There were like, 16 other people here she could bother. “Okay, what did you want from me? At 5 in the morning?” 

“Well, I was coming here to ask you about that guitar you were making for me! Remember, the one with my signature hair colors on it~” Mioda said, flipping her shoulder-length hair dramatically. She had let Hanamura cut it a few weeks back, which he was surprisingly good at. They were becoming considerably closer recently, which worried him slightly as he was reminded of that comment she’d made… He was already humiliated by the current situation, but if Hanamura of all people were to get his eyes on this strange sight, he was sure he’d have to pack up and leave this island entirely. There was no way in hell he’d be able to live another day here. “Is it doneeeee-?” She leaned down at him.  
“No, I have to finish painting it. Now please get out.”

“Hinataaaa! Aren’t you the Ultimate, like, everything now? Can’t you just speed it up a little? Ibuki has a show with Saionji tomorrow, and if I have to use that ugly green one Naegi found in the storage room again, I shall never be able to crawl out of my hole of humiliation!” She whined dramatically at him. Jeez, was she always this annoying? 

“I’ll do the best I can to get it done, but there’s no guarantee. Now OUT!” He pointed to the door. 

“Ugh, fineeee... “ She moped as she climbed through his now shattered window. Why the hell was she going that way…?  
Hinata sighed and began poking at Komaeda. No matter how badly he wanted to rest his head again and fall back asleep, there was no way he was going to risk embarrassment like that.  
“Hey. It’s time to wake up, Komaeda.” He poked at his shoulder gently, with no luck. He could see his chest moving softly up and down as he took steady breaths.  
Damnit, I should just get this over with, no matter how bad I feel about waking him up… I’ll just-

“HINATAAA-!!” Mioda screamed as she popped her head through the window, climbing quickly through it and landing on the ground harshly.  
“Ouch-! Ibuki nearly died there!” She rubbed the back of her neck as she sat herself up,

“HOLY- What is it now-?!” Hinata nearly jumped straight out of his skin, Komaeda jolting awake.  
Well, that was one way to wake him, he supposed. 

“Hinata…? What is…” Komaeda rubbed his eyes softly, attempting to wake himself up as he looked over at the scene unfolding before him. 

“What reason could you have possibly had to jump, straight through my window, that you already broke…?” Hinata yelled at her.

“Well, I remembered how tsundere you are, and that blackmail exists! Now make my guitar!” 

“Tsun- What? No! I have to go to work today, I cannot work on your guitar right now, Mioda!” 

“Well, then I guess Hanamura and the others will have to hear about THAT!” She pointed to Komaeda, looking very confused. 

“Ah, are you embarrassed about spending time with me Hinata? My apologies, I understand how humiliating it must be to be seen with me!” Komaeda chuckled with a wide smile. 

“No! That’s not what I- UGH!!” Hinata hid his face in his hands in frustration. There was far too much happening right then, it was getting too much to handle. He knew that if any of them heard about him... “Spending the night”, with Komaeda and waking up like this, there was no way he’d ever hear the end of it. He could just hear the teasing from now, he shuddered at the thought. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed by Komaeda… Just…  
“FINE! I’ll work on your guitar, just, don’t tell anyone about this… I’ll never hear the end of it…” He sighed, defeated. Since when did Mioda get so damn cunning? Though, the way she’d done it was very much like her. The way she’d jumped through his window was very in character. He almost smiled at the thought, it was kind of funny, honestly. But with the dust of red over his face and the embarrassment of the situation, he just let out another tired sigh. 

“Hahahaha, hell yes! Hinata sure is easy to manipulate, I never knew it’d be so much fun! Ibuki is very good at being sneaky, so I won’t tell a soul! Woohoo, guitar!” She threw her hands in the air and climbed back out of the shattered window, carefully stepping over shards of glass scattered around the floor. This was going to take forever to fix, and now he had to finish that damned guitar… Hinata groaned at the thought. He’d honestly thought he might get a decent bit of sleep tonight, being able to get done with the mission today a bit earlier than usual. He was so excited about the mission being so simple today, but nothing could go well for him could it? Of course not.  
He pinched the bridge of his nose, but in between his sighs of frustration, he saw Komaeda leading himself towards the door.  
“Hey, where are you going?” Hinata said, standing up from the floor. Ouch, he’d forgotten how sore his legs were from the mission the day prior. Sitting like that on the ground for so long surely wasn’t helping much.

“Oh, I was just letting myself out. I’ve intruded on your day enough, haven’t I? Now because of me, you may have to stay up late to finish that gift for Mioda. All because I let myself be so stupidly injured…” Komaeda said sadly, though still keeping that smile on his face. “You really shouldn’t waste so much of your kindness on me, Hinata.” 

Hinata stood there, staring blankly. He wanted to say something, say something, you idiot! He can’t just…

“I will see you later, Hinata.” Komaeda waved at him.

“W-Wait-!” Hinata called out to him, reaching an arm forward. Komaeda opened the door again slightly, looking at him with a bit of surprise.

“Uh, You aren’t that bad, y’know…” Wow. You sold it there Hinata. Good fucking job. “Ah, I mean… Just-” He stuttered, taking a step forward. The words in his head couldn’t leave his mouth, they stayed on the tips of his teeth as he stuttered.  
No, stay. I need to apologize, I want to say sorry. Don’t go when you’ve got that face….

“I… I’m sorry.” He spat out, relief flooded over him. Today had barely begun and he’d already forgotten how to speak. What a great way to start the morning, huh? 

“For what, Hinata? You’ve done nothing but be kind to me, I am the one at fault here.” 

“No, I mean for last night. And today too, kinda… I didn’t mean some of the things I said.” 

“It’s no issue. Hinata is very honest!” Komaeda chuckled.  
Hinata is an asshole, more like it.  
“No, I was being too irritatable with you… Even though you were being stubborn as hell.” Hinata scratched nervously at the back of his neck. “So yeah. That’s it, I guess.”  
Komaeda stared awkwardly at him for a moment, peeking only slightly through the door.

“...Thank you, Hinata…” He said softly, his face dusted with pink as he covered it with his hand. Hinatas face grew even redder at the sight. He seriously got embarrassed at the dumbest things, didn’t he?  
Komaeda waved a hand at him as he opened the door a bit more, motioning for him to follow.  
“C’mon Hinata, let’s get to the restaurant a bit early! Maybe then we can get to some of the first dishes before Owari and Togami get there.” He said, smiling brightly. Hinata’s words had seemed to cheer him up at least a bit, a warm feeling grew in Hinatas chest as he sighed with relief. He had been being so difficult lately, so it was such an accomplishment to see Komaeda accept the smallest bit of kindness.  
“Yeah, sure.” Hinata followed suit, walking out of the door alongside Komaeda.  
Perhaps today wouldn’t be so difficult after all.

\--------

“Hey, Komaeda.” Koizumi poked at him with a stern finger. “It’s lunchtime, we’re eating outside today.” She said, snapping Komaeda away from his work.  
“Ah, I nearly forgot! I’ll be right there, Koizumi. I’m so sorry for causing you to come to get me like this.” He said, standing quickly from his chair.  
“Don’t worry about it, hurry up!” Koizumi skipped towards the door, joining Saionji who had been peeking through the doorway, lighting up as they began walking together. 

‘What a wonderful couple, how hopeful it is to see that duo together!’ He thought to himself as he walked through the halls, bumping into someone as he was stuck in his head.  
“Ah-! My sincerest apologies, I-” He said immediately, backing away before seeing him… 

“Oh, hey Komaeda,” Hinata said calmly. “You going to lunch?” 

Komaeda stared blankly at him. He’d barely seen him join them for lunch, so it shocked him at the sight of him standing there, his blazer in his arms. A bit of red crept over his cheeks.  
“I… Did not expect to see you here today, Hinata…” He said quietly, still gazing at him.

“Didn’t I tell you? I wasn’t needed much for the mission today, so I’m here for lunch today.” 

“Ah, that’s right, I’d nearly forgotten, my apologies, Hinata.” He said smiling, turning his eyes towards the ground. 

“There’s no reason to apologize, I don’t care...” He turned away, the dust of pink on his face peeking around. “C’mon, let’s join the others before Owari and Togami take everything. Before we even get there.” He chuckled. 

Komaeda nodded as they joined the others together. The smell of fresh food filled the air the second they opened the door.  
“Oh, Hinata! You’re here!” Mitarai said, bringing a plate of food with him as he rushed over. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to be late, so I saved you a plate. I, uh- I hope that’s okay..” He stuttered as he handed Hinata the plate. 

“Haha! Thanks, Mitarai. I’m glad you did, it uh… It looks like the foods gone already…” Hinata chuckled a bit as he looked behind Mitarai's shoulder, Hanamura with a look of horror on his face as Togami and Owari scarfed down the last bits of food he'd made.

“Ah-! Togami!” He yelped, rushing over to go scold Togami as Owari laughed at the both of them. 

Komaeda snickered at them a bit, Koizumi comforting Hanamura as he wept over the food he'd cooked being gone so quickly, Owari still laughing at them all.

“So uh, you wanna share this plate then…?” Hinata asked Komaeda nervously, scratching the back of his neck. “Sorry, that was weird, I’ll just, uh-” 

“No, It’s alright. I’d be more than happy to share something with Hinata! I’m so grateful that you would even offer!” Komaeda beamed, clapping his hands together. 

Hinata stared at him for a bit, before chuckling along. They sat down together along the wall, picking at their shared plate at the watched everyone bicker at each other. Laughter filled the air along with the smell of food, such a pleasant atmosphere.  
Komaeda smiled wide. He’d never usually joined everyone else to eat. He’d sit along the wall, picking at a small plate. Of course, he could never deserve such a thing. How could he possibly think highly enough of himself to spoil such a wonderful thing?  
But… Sitting there, next to Hinata. Picking at that big plate of food as they laughed, it filled his chest with warmth. He’d nearly forgotten how worthless he was compared to him, sitting together like this. 

“A-Ah, Komaeda?” Tsumiki stuttered as she tapped him on the shoulder. “I’m, uh, I’m so sorry to bother you, but…” She trailed off, seemingly trying to gain the courage to get the words out. “C-Can you come with me for a minute!” She squealed. 

“Oh, of course, Tsumiki!” He said standing quickly. “Just one minute, Hinata!” He waved. 

“Oh, yeah whatever.” Hinata waved back. 

“Okay, u-uh… Just follow me for a minute please…” Tsumiki said, holding her arms close to her chest as she lead Komaeda back into the Foundation building.  
They walked to the nurse’s office in silence until Tsumiki quietly shut the door behind her, turning back to Komaeda nervously.  
“...Is something the matter, Tsumiki? You look rather on edge.” 

“U-Um, I just- Can I grab something really quickly…?” 

“Of course! Whatever you need, Tsumiki.” Komaeda said brightly, sitting down onto the bed as he waved at her.  
Tsumiki nodded, rushing out of the door and shutting it loudly. Komaeda looked around the room a bit, taking a deep breath as he looked to the ground. Rooms such as these always made him quite nervous, and Tsumiki was somehow acting a bit more anxious and timid than usual, which put him slightly on edge. He had no idea what she could possibly need from him, what could someone such as herself be wasting so much time for?  
He tugged on the strings of his jacket as he thought, stroking it gently with his fingers. 

“H-Here I am!” Tsumiki opened the door quickly, holding a small file in her hand before it flew out of her hands as she tripped, falling straight onto her face. “O-Ow… I’m so sorry-! That was so embarrassing…!” She wailed as she rubbed her forehead, standing up shakily. 

Komaeda smiled nervously a bit. “It’s quite alright Tsumiki…” He jumped off the bed and picked up the file that she had dropped. Before handing it to her, his name written on the top of the file caught his eye…  
Before he could think more of it, Tsumiki grabbed onto his shoulders as she attempted to steady herself.  
“Waaa… I’m so sorry…. P-Please just go sit back down…” She whimpered as Komaeda grabbed onto her hands to get her to her feet.  
“Okay, uh, here goes…” She took a small breath, preparing herself before speaking and dusting off her skirt. “Uh, so you know what happened yesterday and all, r-right…?” 

“Are you referring to the incident in which I made a fool of myself in front of such wonderful people as are in this building? Yeah, I remember.” He chuckled a bit. 

“Right, ah, how should I put this…” She fumbled with her fingers as she spoke. “Um, you, you really worried me, y’know?” She looked up at him, a concerned and nervous expression on her face.  
Worried…? What reason could she have to be worried? He walked out just fine, didn’t he?  
“Heh, of course, Tsumiki. You worry too much, you know that?”

“I-I know that-!” She squealed, blushing a bit at the teasing. “But t-this one is for good reason, okay?” She took a breath and gripped her folder tighter.  
“I uh, I asked Naegi if he could bring me your medical records… They let me, because I’m a nurse, and...” Tsumikis’s tone lowered as she said this. She held the folder close to her chest as she looked down at the ground.  
Komeda’s face dropped. The small smile and look of curiosity were gone. His heart thumped against his ribcage, and he could feel his expression as it fell. 

“Komaeda... “ Tsumiki spoke up, glaring at the ground as she bit her lip. “You… Lied to us, didn’t you?” She looked up, tears building up in her eyes as soon as they fell out. She looked at him with such pain and confusion in her eyes, even though she cried so often, the true look of hurt and betrayal he saw felt like a punch to his stomach, his heart sunk. He could do nothing but stare at her, with pure shock. Tsumiki sniffled as she spoke up again.  
“Why would you… Why wouldn’t you tell us-?” She sobbed loudly, clenching onto that damned folder like she was holding on for dear life. She seemed almost.... Angry with him. Perhaps it was hidden in the tears flowing off her cheeks, but he could feel the betrayal in her voice as she spoke.  
He jumped down from the bed, looking down at the ground stiffly. He knew he needed to say something, but what was there really to say? 

She looked up at him, tears still pooling down her face, though she’d composed herself enough to have an expression that he could read. She looked, hurt. That was all you could say about what he saw. She looked hurt, hurt by her friend that she’d been lied to about something so serious. So… Deadly. “Were you planning on even… On even getting treatment? Or- Or telling us ever?” She said harshly. “...Komaeda…?” 

“...No.” He spoke, still glaring at the ground. 

“W-What? How- Why? Why wouldn’t you-” She stumbled over her words. 

“I don’t think you understand, Tsumiki.” 

“H-Huh…?” 

Komaeda looked up from the ground with a smile. A calm, composed smile. “I have my luck, you see.” He spoke. 

“What do you mean?! You-- You have serious illnesses Komaeda- You could- Die…” She choked back tears.

“Heh, I was given a death sentence such a long time ago. I was given barely even a year, and do you see me now? Am I dead? Am I under the ground, buried under the dirt, a grave-stone over my head?” He chuckled. “No, I am standing here, before you, aren’t I?” 

“K-Komaeda… No amount of pure luck can cure this-!” She squealed, placing the folder she held so tightly in her arms down onto a chair and stepping closer to Komaeda. 

“Haha, I still don’t think you understand, Tsumiki! It doesn’t matter.” 

“...What?” 

Komaeda laughed a bit, smiling wide. “It doesn’t matter-! Besides, no amount of treatment can save me. With it or not, I could be dead within seconds, or live another 50 years! Isn’t that incredible, how my luck words like that?” He chuckled. “My luck will choose when to snip the thin string of life that’s keeping me together, I will be tossed around like a ragdoll for my entire life. That’s just how things go with me, y’know. Heheh, I bet It will keep me to live a long life, while slowly killing my brain until I’m enduring nothing but suffering. But, It doesn’t matter in the end. As long as I'm given to spread hope to you all, I am nothing but a pebble in the wave of life! I’m sure my passing will be no matter to you all, whenever it comes.” 

“Komaeda, p-please…” 

“I do hope that soothes your worrying, Tsumiki. I’m sure I will live as long as required for me to do so, You’ve no need to waste your kindness on me.” Komaeda’s tone died down a bit as he walked towards the door. “And, don’t waste your time on telling the others, please.” He Said quietly as he passed her. 

“I-I can’t just keep this from everyone-! There’s… There’s no way I can....” Tsumiki turned to him quickly, grabbing onto his shoulders. 

“...Don’t you see, Tsumiki? It will only pain them, while all I’m trying to do is bring them hope. So please,” He smiled softly, looking back up at her, just a bit. “...Keep this for me, will you, Tsumiki?”  
She stared silently, letting her grip go softer on his shoulders, as he slipped away. He gave her one more smile as he waved at her, walking through the doorway and into the halls. 

As he walked, his expression fell once more. His eyes grew dull and tired, and his shoulders shook a bit. What a pain this was. Tsumiki really was wonderful, huh? To think she’d look to his medical records to cure her suspicion, only to find something such as this? To be expected of the Ultimate Nurse, he supposed. He let out a soft sigh. Truly, what a pain. 

He lead himself through the halls, his steps growing more tired and forced as he walked. 

“Komaeda-! There you are, Hinata told me you’d left with Tsumiki. Where is she?” Togami stood in front of him, their arms crossed. 

“Ah, I think she’s just grabbing something from the nurse’s office, she should be out shortly.”

“I see, I’ll go get her myself then.” He stormed off quickly, arms still folded over his chest. Komaeda chuckled a bit and stepped outside. Everyone was loading onto the boat, Mioda waving her arm as she spotted him.

“Heeeey Komaeda! C’mon, climb aboard!”  
Komaeda smiled, climbing onto the boat, joining the others. 

“Where the hell did you go? You and Tsumiki are keepin’ us waiting.” Kuzuryu said irritably. 

“Aw, don’t be like that! He and Tsumiki were alone, y’know…? We shouldn’t ask men about what they’re doin’ alone with ladies!” Souda put his arm around Kuzuryu, laughing. 

“Ugh- Get the hell off me! And don’t say things like that-” He tried pushing him off, but Souda just kept laughing and teasing him. 

Komaeda smiled nervously at the thought, though laughing a bit at their antics.  
Tsumiki caught his eye just then, as she walked onto the boat with Togami, joining the others. They met eyes for a moment before she turned away from him nervously. His heart fell a bit at this, though he just turned away, leaning his elbows against the side of the boat and letting out a sigh. He watched as the Foundation faded away from sight, becoming nothing but a blur as they arrived at the island once more. 

“Everyone get off now, so we can go home.” Togami yelled at them, Mioda blowing her tongue at him as she climbed off. 

“See you all next week! Stay safe!” Naegi shouted at them with a smile. 

Komaeda waved at them as he climbed off, and they set off back to the Foundation. It never really got boring, getting on that boat seven times a week, somehow. The glimmering of the water still shook him with its beauty, every time he saw it. He turned away, heading back to his cottage. 

“Komaeda? Are you not staying? We were going to the beach together, will you not be accompanying us today?” Sonia asked as she spotted him. 

“Ah, no thank you, Sonia. I’m so grateful that you’d invite me, but I’m not feeling well, just a bit tired from the workday is all. I think I’ll just head to my room for the day.” 

“Oh, I see. Do feel better, Komaeda! And feel free to join us later if you wish!” She waved at him, running back to join the others. 

He sighed, keeping his shaky smile as he opened the door to his cottage. He sat himself down onto his bed, stripping his jacket off until he saw the bloody bandage wrapped around his arm. His heart warmed just a bit as he thought of the night prior. Though he’d caused Hinata so much trouble, such a nice feeling it was, his warm hands tending to him so carefully. Heh, how selfish he was.  
He threw his jacket to the ground and let out another sigh, his face sinking. He felt so.... Dull. His shoulders weighed on him as he let out the pressure of the day. How pathetic he was, really. Such a simple thing to keep hidden, all for the sake of not causing harm to those he loved, and what exactly did he do? Heh, he truly was worthless. He couldn't even keep to such a simple task, and now look at what's happened to Tsumiki?  
...  
The image of her looking up at him, such pain in her eyes. How betrayed she must felt.  
...She just didn't understand. None of them truly understood what he needed to do, how wonderful hope was, and how wonderful THEY were! It was all for the sake of them, for preserving their hope for it to blossom beautifully once more!  
...But that face she'd had, of such pain and shock when he'd said all those things to her.  
He considered if... They were really true.

...He needed to go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> author here editing the notes of the last chapter !! just wanted to let everyone know I'm so sorry for the wait on this next chapter, stuff has been really rough for me lately and I've had very little motivation to write. but I'm gonna sit myself down and get writing, and I'm gonna try my hardest to get back on track with these chapters. super sorry you guys.   
> and i also wanted to add, thank you guys so much for the love and support I've gotten on this. as I've stated before, I've never written anything like this and i was scared it would flop or id get made fun of for my shitty writing, but everyone saying how much you love to see this and how you enjoy this fic, it warms my heart tremendously every time, so thank you guys SO much. I've enjoyed writing this fic and interacting with everyone so goddamn much, just, thank you.   
> and ill get the next chapter out as soon as possible, happy new years everyone !!


	7. Strumming on the sand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Komaeda takes some time for himself on the beach after the stressful events of the past days. Except its the middle of the night and this bitch is gonna freeze to death, so guess who comes to his rescue lol

The smell of the ocean washed through the air, bringing a chill down Komaedas spine as he sat leaning against a damp rock. The cold air stung his shoulders as he stared at the sea, barely visible in the darkness of the night. Such a pain it would be if he got sick from the shivering coldness of the night, but the sounds of the ocean were far too calming for him to care.   
What was he to do? Such a burden of a situation this was. That folder crunched up tight against Tsumikis’s chest still left a pit of confusion and dread curled up in his stomach. What was she even so worried about? There was no need to be worried about such scum as he was. He was just a shadow that was going to darken the light of hope that shined from the ultimates, there was no need to keep him around.   
...And if the others found out, would they be just as concerned? Have that same look on their face as she did? The thought lingered on his tongue. Why? There was no reason to care. It would be a weight off their shoulders if he was no longer there. So…   
That question stung his brain, left him confused. No matter how long he thought about it, it just didn’t make sense. He sighed, pulling his knees to his chest and resting his chin. He hummed to himself softly, a melody that didn’t exist. His eyes closed as he listened to the waves and distracted his brain.   
He could see why Hinata liked to come here. Perhaps he had his own reasons, but it sure did help clear a mind. He smiled a bit at the thought.   
‘Hinata is so… Wonderful…’ He mumbled to himself as his mind drifted off, the sound of the crashing waves was the only thing he could hear. 

…

“Oi, can you hear me?” Komaeda heard as he slowly opened his eyes, blinking away his blurred vision. 

“Hey. HEY!” They shouted louder at him, shaking his shoulders. 

“...Hm…?” Komaeda mumbled, looking at the person in front of him. 

“Jesus Christ, you scared me…” They let go of him, pinching the bridge of their nose.

“...Hinata?” Komaeda mumbled as he sat up, rubbing his eyes. “...Hinata? What’s wrong?” 

“You were passed out on the beach is what’s wrong! I thought you were frozen to death or something…” He said irritably. “The hell are you doing here?” 

“I could ask the same of you, Hinata. Its the middle of the night, what’re you doing wandering around the beach?”

“I asked you first! Agh, I was just-” He grabbed onto something beside him, hiding it behind his back. Komaeda peeked around, to see a large guitar hidden behind him. 

“Ah, is that... Miodas guitar? Were you coming out here to play some late-night tunes? Ah, I’d love to hear some Ultimate-Guitarist playing!” Komaeda lit up a bit, clapping his hands together in excitement.   
“Wh- No! I wasn’t coming here to play, I…” Komaeda stared at him with confusion. “...I came here to finish painting it. It was too warm in the cottage, I thought it would take less long if I did it outside. Y’know, the air would dry the paint faster or something.” He sighed, leaning upon the same rock as Komaeda, his back against the opposite side of the damp rock.  
Komaeda peeked over at the guitar Hinata clutched in his arms, the unfinished paint job looking rushed and scattered, with spots of paint all over Hinatas’s arms. It was beautiful, his skills were so incredible, even with the smallest of tasks, he could create something that glimmered with hope and divine, it brought a sparkle of joy into Komaeda’s heart. 

“It doesn’t seem like you’re having too much trouble with it, Hinata! It looks so beautiful, I bet even if Mioda brought it up on stage looking just like that, the audience would cheer with hope just the same!” Komaeda glimmered, turning around to face Hinata as he looked at him with confusion.   
“It’s not even done though… Mioda will probably be up in a few hours breaking down my door looking for me, and I’ll have to bring her an unfinished guitar. How lame is that?” Hinata pulled his knees to his chest and sighed. His face was scrunched up with anger for himself, looking down at the cold sand.   
Komaeda glared at him with confusion, before gently grabbing the guitar from Hinatas arms.   
He held it just like he saw Mioda did as she played at her shows, he didn’t remember much from it, the loud noises of the cheering crowd and the screeching of Miodas voice and all the instruments, it was far too much for him. But what he did remember was how beautiful and ecstatic she seemed before every show, that look on her face as she squeezed the strings of her guitar with her fingers. He wished he could’ve heard her play a bit longer before having to step outside, covering his ears.   
He stared at the paint-job, brushing it over a bit with his fingers.   
“Uh… What’re you doing?” Hinata turned around to look at him over the rock. “If any of that paint is still wet and you fuck it up, count your days.” 

“Hinata?” Komaeda looked up from the guitar, his eyes glowing a bit with wonder. “Can you play for me?” He asked. 

“What? Uh, I don’t know any songs or anything, I don’t know if I can.” He said, sitting right beside Komaeda now, sweeping off some sand from his legs. 

“It doesn’t have to be a song, just play something.” He insisted.

“Agh… Mmmmm… Fine.” Hinata thought for a moment before grabbing the guitar from Komaedas hands. He hesitated for a moment, he’d never really played for anyone before, he’d barely even played at all. He was about to return the guitar, denying the request, before he looked up at Komaeda, staring at him. His hands were on his knees as he sat on them, staring intensely. There was this look on his face. It wasn’t his normal look when asking Hinata to perform his talents, crazed eyes that filled Hinata with fear as he thought about it. No, he looked more… Like a puppy. His eyes glowed with interest, he didn’t look so scary right now.  
….Huh.   
He placed it in his arms and held it like how Mioda had taught him. She had forced everyone to let her give them all guitar lessons to cheer them up, it was around a week after everyone had woken up. They all reluctantly strummed on the strings together, before staring in awe at Hinata as he played it beautifully as they’d never heard before. 

He strummed in a pattern, no particular melody, just letting his hands fimble with the strings as the music flowed through the instrument. He had never played like this before, he never really had any interest. When he’d taken those lessons with everyone, they all made him play songs, he played intricately, never messing a note, absolute perfection. Everyone stared in awe, and it made him feel nice, everyone complimenting him on his talents just as he'd always wanted.  
But the more he thought about it… It was artificial. Like a robot.   
But the way he played now, just strumming the strings as he liked, nothing, in particular, just a lovely sound. It was fun. He continued for a few minutes before resting his hands, letting out a sigh. 

“Uh, so, how was that?” Hinata asked Komaeda.   
Komaeda stared at him for a moment, wonder filling his eyes, before giving him nothing but a smile. A bright smile, full of excitement. He closed his eyes and tilted his head a bit. “It was so wonderful, Hinata. I could listen to that forever, I could die listening to it. It was lovely.”   
The night was dark, you could barely see a thing. But Komaedas’s smile warmed up the cold night. Despite the darkness, he almost glowed. He looked almost…  
Beautiful. 

“Hinata? Have you died? Hm?” Komaeda waved a hand over Hinatas face. “Hinataaaaa…?” 

“Eh?” He looked at Komaeda, snapping out of his gaze. “WAAA-” 

“Hm? What’s the matter, Hinata?” He said, pulling back. 

“Don’t get so close like that-! Agh…” He could feel the blood rushing to his face as he leaned back. 

“I thought you went and died for a moment there Hinata. I was quite concerned.” He chuckled a bit. “I wonder what was going on in that head of yours to be spaced out like that, are you alright?” 

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine-” He said, shutting his eyes tight and pushing Komaeda away further, as he was still leaning over him. “Personal space please.” 

“Ah, heheh. My apologies.” He said, realizing how close the two were to each other. He leaned back against the rock, smiling fondly at Hinata as he brushed off his pants, before leaning his head back and letting out a sigh. He stared at the dark sky above them. How beautiful space must be, he wondered. Such a scary void, yet so calming at the same time.   
He felt Hinata sit up against the rock beside him, their shoulders pressing together just a bit. He stared at the same spot in the sky as Komaeda, squinting a bit. He wasn’t sure exactly what Komaeda was looking at, the night was so engulfed in black you could barely even make out the moon, there wasn’t much to see. Yet Komaeda stared with wonder at the sky above him.   
“...Hinata?” Komaeda asked, not peeling his eyes away from the sky. 

“Yeah? What’s up?” He turned to look at him. 

“Do you think there’s an afterlife? Somewhere people go after they die?” 

“...Eh?” Hinata was taken aback a bit by the spontaneous philosophical question. Komaeda did like to get deep about weird things like that, but at such a random time to bring it up, it was weird. “Oh, uh… I guess I’ve never really thought about it?” He scratched the back of his neck.   
“Maybe… I’d like to think so, I guess.” 

“Mm,” Komaeda mumbled. “I suppose… That makes sense…” His eyes were still staring into the sky deeply. He let out a sigh as he finally looked down to the ground. There was a hint of sleepiness in his eyes as he looked down at the sand. 

“Oi, you still awake?” Hinata nudged him with his elbow, before Komaeda fell on his side, asleep. Hinata let out an irritated sigh. This guy was seriously getting on his nerves these past few days. What was it with him that made him so annoying like this? It’s like he was doing it without even trying anymore. 

“Ahh… Jesus…” He pinched the bridge of his nose before slumping Komaeda over his shoulders, carrying him over his back. He could feel his hot breath against the side of his neck as he began walking and feel his chest move up and down. The blood rushed to his face as the sleeping Komaeda nuzzled against his shoulder.   
Together, they walked across the sand and back to the cottages. Hinata rustled through Komaedas pockets, attempting to find the key to his cottage.  
“...Are you fucking kidding me right now?” He mumbled, not finding a key insight. That idiot must’ve left it on the sand or something. Hinata was far too tired to walk all the way back there, all the while with a sleeping guy on his back. He groaned, realizing there wasn't much of an option unless he were to take them back to the hotel and set him down in the lobby, but sometimes Souda and Kuzuryu would hand out there late at night, and if they ever got their hands on this sight… He didn’t even want to think about the aftermath of THAT situation…

Hinata leaned his forehead against Komaedas locked cottage door, before turning to his own cottage and setting Komaeda down on the bed. It looked like it was gonna be yet another night on the floor for him, huh?   
He plopped himself down on the floor, grabbing a pillow and a spare blanket and leaning against his bed. He stared down at the half-painted guitar, knowing Mioda wasn’t gonna be happy if he brought it to her like this.   
…  
Fuck it. Fuck it all.   
He had worked himself to the bone the whole day, and there were only a few hours he could get any sleep in left in the night. He leaned the guitar onto a chair safely and plopped his head onto the spare pillow on the floor. He could just go sleep in the lobby alone, but his legs ached and his head was throbbing. He was sure he’d straight-up die if he had to walk around anymore.   
*Sigh…*  
Even though the day had taken a toll on him, and he could already feel the aches in his back building up from sleeping on the floor (again…), it really was all worth it for this. Though it was a small amount, it always felt so good when you're tired out of your mind, and you finally get to shut your eyes.   
As he blacked out for the day, he thought of what Komaeda had said to him. The compliments he’d thrown his way, so strangely.   
Why was he thinking about that again…?  
…

He really needed to sleep more often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAA IM SO SORRY FOR THIS CHAPTER TAKING SO FUCKING LONGGG and its pretty short too bfirueglbqerub I'm a terrible writer I'm so sorry you guys- my mental health has been fucking DEAD for these past few months, and though I've been trying my best to get some writing in its been really hard. and it may still take some time for me to finish these chapters, now that schools back on for me and I have more of an excuse not to sleep the whole damn day I should be writing more often. again, so sorry you guys I feel so awful bfweuifwbeiu. anyways, thank you for all the love on this fic !! I've been thinking about it a lot like ughhhh its doing so well and so many people like it I gotta writeeee NFWNFWI anyways love yall hope this chapter is decent x_x

**Author's Note:**

> rip this fic alexa play zansakura -zanta by megumi ogata


End file.
